The Diary of Annie
by Faembrosia
Summary: I'm the one who took your Cirque Du Freak ticket, Darren. I'm the reason you were bitten by that horrible, ugly spider. I wish I could tell you this in person. But by the time you read this, I'll already be dead.
1. The Story of the Apple Tree

**_I'm an original hardcore fan of the books. It's been a while since I read through them, but I still consider the Darren Shan Saga as one of my favorite series of books of all time. Hope you enjoy! _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the Darren Shan Saga nor any of the characters in it. _**

**_Just a curious fanfic writer asking 'What if?'  
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For whoever gets a hold of this diary, I want you to know:

_This is a true story_.

I don't expect you to believe me—I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't lived it—but it's true. Everything in this diary has happened, just the way that I described it. I bet you're expecting a happy story, am I right? About a little girl like me, growing up to become something amazing—to grow up and change the world and to live happily ever after with a knight in shining armor. But, in all honesty, this story isn't happy. Real life is cruel—in real life, bad things happen. People die. Fights are lost. Evil often wins.

I just wanted to let you know, before I began.

Oh, by the way, my name is Annabelle Shan-- but I usually just go by Annie.

As for the other names in this diary, I made them up. None of them are real. Not my family. Not my friends. Not even the cities or the streets or even the country.

Anyway, that's as good of an introduction as I have. If this was a made-up story, it would all have began at midnight under a bloody, full moon in the darkness alone to deal with the monsters under the bed and the shadows on the walls. But, this is a real story, and I have to begin where it really started.

It all started in an apple tree.

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When my brother, Darren, and I were little, we used to climb up in this old tree in our backyard and pick apples. Everything to us was a contest. We tried to see who could pick the most apples, who could pick the reddest, who could climb the highest. We were adventurous little kids, just like everyone else. One day, as we climbed up the tree, Darren decided he wanted to be braver and travel up a few more branches. Even then, at such a young age, I knew it was a terrible idea. He didn't listen as I begged him to come back down with me. Instead, he climbed up and up and up. He disappeared among the leaves. I was scared.

But even in my fright, I could feel the challenge. Gripping to what little courage I had, I scaled the limbs. I pulled myself up and up and up until I couldn't even see the ground anymore. I began to forget about my worry over Darren, and focused myself on proving that I was a lot more courageous than he was. As I began to see patches of clouds and sky through the leaves, I felt a swell of accomplishment. I must have lost focus for a moment, because I stepped upon a rotting branch and—_SNAP!_—my little body tumbled from the tree. I hit many branches on the way down, each new one numbed the pain of falling a story or so even more. I struck the ground with a large _THUMP!_ and my parents, and even Darren, were sure that I was dead.

Actually, though, the branches cushioned my fall, sorta. I walked away with a few cuts and bruises and a broken wrist. It was later that I found out, Darren whussed out of climbing to the top and hid behind a large limb before climbing down a different way we came up.

My parents were furious. With me, of course, but more furious with Darren and how he tricked me. He swore from that day never to tease me with tests of bravery. From that day, he began to treat me how an older brother treats his little sister. He protected me from everything. From spiders, from other kids, from movies that weren't even that scary. He did his job flawlessly.

That was, until he told me of this mysterious circus that came to town.

And in a subtle unknowing way, he set up for me a blind test of bravery.

And in instinct, I accepted his challenge. If only I would have known—if I would have just let Darren go—or maybe even told Mom and Dad on him—things would have turned out different. Much different.

But, in my stupidity, I climbed those branches and I looked at the trophy of bravery that I would achieve if I made it to the sky. I reached for the unachievable and I fell. Harder than I ever fell before. But this time, there was a much higher price to pay:

My _life._

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_**R&R! This is just sort of the introduction, I guess. It's not much, but if people like it, I'll write more. I might write more anyways. ;D**  
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	2. Green with Envy

**_Second installment. Please enjoy! And, as always, critique is surely appreciated. Anything to become better at writing. And this story will follow the same basic storyline as the books did. Except, of course, some things will certainly be changed just to fit the story of Annie.  
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It was a beautiful day when my life changed.

The seasons were just about to turn from summer to fall, which meant school had just started. I had lots of fun in school. My little group of friends; Amanda, Stacie, Chloe and I were together during classes constantly. Even though most of the time, they stood at the window watching my older brother, Darren Shan, play soccer with the older boys. Sometimes, having an older brother made me look cool, especially to the other grade school kids. Other times, it was very annoying.

"Wow!" Amanda gasped. "Darren is amazing!"

I glanced out the window and sure enough, Darren was zipping down the field in between the other boys. It was hard for anyone to catch up with him. My eyes rolled and I turned back to our English assignment. This was the seventh 'wow' I had heard today over Darren. "I guess."

"You guess?" Amanda whipped to me with gaping eyes. "Your brother is so cool!"

"Then why don't you marry him?" Chloe cooed with a smile.

Amanda sealed her lips and tossed Chloe a mean look.

"… and Darren is friends with Steve Leonard," Stacie sighed heavily with her face nearly pressed against the glass.

"Ew," Chloe sneered. "You like Steve Leonard?"

"He's dreamy," Stacie sighed. Again.

"Dreamy? More like a nightmare!" Amanda hissed. "And you know what I heard?" She leaned even closer. "He's like… a criminal or something."

I smiled and continued to listen.

Amanda glanced around to make sure no one was listening, "I heard, he steals everything he wants. And if he doesn't like you, he'll give you a black eye and take your money!"

"Not Steve!" Stacie frowned.

"Yes!" Amanda gasped.

The bell rang then, and school was over. As I collected my things, Stacie shuffled near my desk and whispered, "Is it true? About Steve?"

I glanced up and smiled. "What do you think, Stacie?"

"Well," Stacie hugged her books tightly to her chest. "I know about the pranks he plays and even though… he's in a lot of trouble he can get out of it. But he's not really a criminal, is he?"

"No," I shook my head. "Steve comes over to my house all the time with Darren. He's pretty fun and treats me pretty nice."

"Oh," Stacie exhaled a sigh of relief as if I just told her the best news she ever heard I her life. "That's good. … Is Steve coming over tonight?"

I laughed and shook my head, "I don't think so. Darren said something about him getting tickets for some kind of show. I guess they're going to go see it tonight." I shrugged my shoulders and began my walk home.

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As I got out of the school, I lifted my heavy red backpack up onto my shoulders, looking for my brother. Usually, Darren waited for me by the streetlight that was near a huge stinky garbage bin—but today, he wasn't there. He was in Junior High and didn't go to the same part of the school as me which was usually the reason it took me a while to find him.

I waited a little bit and finally, when I was through with waiting, I began walking home by myself.

It kind of worried me when I didn't see Darren. He usually was on time when he came to get me from school. We would walk home together and sometimes have a friendly race down the boulevards to see who could get home first. It was weird walking home alone. I never walked home alone.

"Annie!"

I glanced over my shoulder to see Darren racing down the street towards me. I stopped and looked back to him with a glare. "Darren! Where were you?"

He stopped a bit in front of me and doubled over, attempting to catch his breath. He lifted with a wild smile, "I got it, Annie!"

I frowned and began walking again with my brother. "Got what?"

"_Huff_… _huff_… the ticket. There… were only two. I got… the ticket." From his pocket he pulled out a little folded up piece of paper. "Cirque… Du Freak… I got the ticket!"

My eyes grew wider. "You're actually going?"

"Yes!" he stood up fully and ran his hands through his mangled hair. He towered a foot or so over me. But then again, he was 15, and I was only 11.

I bit my lip and cradled my books closer to my chest. "But mom and dad said… that the people were tortured there—and made fun of."

"No," Darren said. "That was way back when. They don't really do that anymore. I bet it's just like the circus we saw for your birthday."

I didn't believe him.

"Take me with you," I said. "I want to see bearded ladies, and performing spiders and… and wolf boys with you!"

"I can't, Annie, they wouldn't let a little girl like you in."

My face twisted in anger. "They're letting _you_ in!"

"Probably because I'm not a brat," he snapped. It didn't take him long to realize what he said was mean and he walked faster after me. "Annie… I'm sorry. I just… I don't know if I'll be able to get there or even if they'll let me in."

We walked in silence for a little while. "… I've got a makeup kit," I offered. "We can draw wrinkles on you and give you a beard to make you look older."

Darren smiled warmly. "Thanks Annie, but I'm just going to try my luck."

"Bring me something back then, okay?" I begged.

"Alright, Annie, I'll see what I can do." Darren laughed.

We walked in silence a little longer. "…are you sure I can't go?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I doubt they'll let me in, let alone you. Anyways," he unfolded the ticket and smiled at the little writing etched into its surface. "This is the last ticket they gave out."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the ticket. It was blacker than anything I ever saw. Writing that I couldn't understand was scribbled across the front. The writing was pretty and of the colors red and green… just like an apple.

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Darren was going to leave after dinner to go to Steve's. Darren told my parents that he was just spending the night there, but I knew the truth. All night, I watched as Darren walked around with the ticket folded in his pant's pocket. His hand protected it as if it were the most delicate of treasures. For most of the night, I sat in my room with my dolls. I arranged them on the bed and pretended to have my own little circus. I was the ringleader and made them perform for me. It was fun, until I realized that Darren was _actually _going to the circus. He was going to _actually _see people that could do amazing things and boys who were wolves! Out of anger, I tossed my dolls across the room and watched as they hit the wall and disappeared behind my dresser.

It didn't take dad long to hear my fit and check in on me. "…Annie," he called as he cracked my door, "Are you alright, sweetie?"

I forced a smile and laughed. "Yeah, dad, just playing with my dolls."

He smiled back, "Alright." He glanced down to his watch and whistled. "It's almost time for bed, little lady."

I sighed and leapt off my bed. I made my way to the bathroom and on the way saw Darren in his room, packing a bag for the night. I shook in anger and closed the bathroom door to take my shower, muttering curses.

_Ccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…_

I listened to the water as it hit me. Trying to forget about the stupid Cirque Du Freak. It wasn't fair. Why did Darren get to go? Because he was older? Because he and stupid Steve found the stupid flier? They got to go to a circus in the middle of the night while I had to be tucked into bed before eight o'clock. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

I washed my hair furiously and whispered to myself, "Darren doesn't even like circuses. I love circuses."

I finished and put on my magenta robe and brushed my hair. Looking into the foggy mirror, I saw just how little I really was. My robe seem gianormus on me. My strawberry blonde hair curled slightly as it fell into my face. I looked so much like a really little girl. I wanted to look older-- like Darren! I wasn't even a teenager yet. Darren has been a teenager for two years! He was in Junior High. He had all the cool older friends and I was stuck in Grade school, listening to girls fawn over my older brother when really—he wasn't all that great!

"Annie, hurry up! I need to have a shower before I go to Steve's!" I heard Darren's muffled voice shout on the other side of the door.

I stormed out of the bathroom and past Darren. I could be cool, too. I could go to the circus and be just like Darren. He can't stop me from going—I can sneak in. I can wait until no one is looking and get in. He can't make me go home.

… or what if he could? What if he told the circus people and they made me go home? –ugh if only Darren didn't go to the circus!

I stopped in front of Darren's room.

… you have to have ticket to get into the Cirque Du Freak. Darren said he had the last ticket. With curious eyes, I looked into his room. Sure enough, lying upon his bedside table was that ticket darker than midnight. My lips rolled together and without thought, I ran into Darren's room and realized what it was I had to do:

I had to steal the Cirque Du Freak ticket.

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_**I have yet to see the Cirque Du Freak movie. I'm almost a little afraid to. I know I'll experience some form of disappointment. =C **_


	3. Red with Rage

**_Chapter three. Thank you everyone who takes time to read this and review. It means a lot to me. Still haven't seen the movie. Almost too afraid to.

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With swift fingers, I snatched the ticket. A rush of adrenaline came over me and I smiled as I sprinted back to my room. With a quick look around my room, I decided to hide the ticket underneath my pillow. I knew Darren never took long showers, so I had to make sure there was no possible way he could figure out that I took the ticket. I quickly got dressed into my princess pink nightgown and I made my way downstairs to help my mom finish the laundry. If mom could vouch for me, saying that I was with her the whole time, Darren wouldn't even think that I took it.

"You're helping with laundry?" My mom asked with raised eyebrows.

"Sure," I smiled.

She laughed and handed me some dish clothes. "Well this is a pleasant change of pace."

I began folding, but didn't really pay attention. My mind was focused upon the noise of running water that the shower made. My heart was racing and finally, the water turned off. My fingers began trembling and I could hardly fold a towel.

I heard Darren open the bathroom door and I concealed a smile and began focusing on folding again. "… is this how you fold a shirt, mom?"

"Almost, dear—you just… need to fold the sleeves in before you fold it over," she showed me a quick example. "Like this—see?"

"Oh, alright." I repeated her actions.

I heard heavy footsteps race down the stairs. "Annie, were you in my room?" I heard Darren hiss.

I glanced up with a frown. Darren stood in a pair of his plaid boxers, dripping with water. His eyes were wild and wide as he glared at me. This was where my mom came into play, "Honey," she said, "she's been down here with me. Why?"

Darren's mouth fell agape and he stopped himself. "It's. It's nothing, I just. I thought she was." His face suddenly turned white and he raced back upstairs.

My mom laughed and placed one of the folded pieces of clothes into a little pile. "Well, Annie, I really appreciate your help, but don't you think it's time for bed, sweetie?"

I shrugged, "I guess so." I lifted from the couch.

"Oh, sweetie," my mom picked up a folded pile of clothes. "Can you take these up to Darren for me?"

I smiled. "Sure." I cradled the clothes in my arms and made my way upstairs. Darren's door was shut, but behind it I heard frantic breaths and loud sounds as he moved things in his room. I knocked lightly on the door, "Darren, I brought some of your clothes." I opened the door and saw half of his room torn apart. I frowned. "What are you doing?"

"The ticket," he whispered. "I can't find it."

I placed the clothes on his dresser. "You put it in your pant's pocket on our way home. Did you check there?"

"Yes!" He snapped.

"Well…" I grinned to myself. "Do you want any help?"

From downstairs, I heard the front door open and my mom call up to us. "Steve's here, sweetie!"

Darren cursed and ran his hands through his hair. "What am I going to do?"

I felt bad for Darren. I knew how badly he wanted to go. I knew that I shouldn't have taken his ticket from him—maybe I should give it back.

"Hey, Shan," Steve called as he bound into the room. He glanced at me and laughed, "Nice dress, Annie."

I turned my nose up and turned away, "Thank you very much."

"I can't find it, Steve," Darren hissed.

Steve's eyes grew wide. "You lost the ticket?!"

"SSSSHHHHH," Darren snapped with his hands waving at the air, trying to swat away Steve's loud voice. "Help me look for it!"

I watched as both boys fell to their knees scavenging through the mess that was Darren's room. They looked like those stray dogs I always saw at the park, looking for food. Slowly, I stepped out of Darren's bedroom and went to my own. I closed my door and turned off my main light. Near my bedside was a nightlight that gave my room a dark gold glow. I made my way to bed and laid down. Carefully, I slid my hand under the pillow and felt the slither of paper that was the Cirque Du Freak ticket. My heart leapt and I closed my eyes with a smile. I did feel terrible for taking Darren's ticket, but I wanted this so bad. I would have given anything for it.

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Steve and Darren searched for the ticket for another hour or so before finally admitting defeat. I listened to their faint voices through the walls with focused attention.

"I'm sorry, Darren, I don't know what else to do," Steve apologized. "The show's going to start soon—I have to go."

Darren remained quiet for a while. "Alright. If… if I find it I'll just meet up with you there."

"I can bring you back something if you want," Steve offered.

"No, it's okay. You better get going, man."

There was silence and Steve muttered something to Darren and then took off for the show. I crawled out of bed and quietly got dressed. I fixed my hair and grabbed my backpack, putting in it some money, a jacket and anything else that I might need for tonight. When I was ready, I opened my window and glanced out. My bedroom was possibly the easiest to sneak out of. Right next to my window was a large drain pipe strapped down by even larger metal hooks. It made a perfect ladder. As silently as I could, I swung the bag over my back and climbed out the window. Holding firmly onto the pipe, I shimmied my way down. I couldn't imagine the sort of trouble I would be in if Mom and Dad found out. Darren wouldn't talk to me for weeks!

But it was worth it, I thought.

Finally, I made it to the ground. I leapt off and landed perfectly in a patch of soft grass. With a triumphant smile, I rounded the house and took off after Steve down the street. If I followed him, he would take me directly to the Cirque Du Freak.

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I never before snuck out at night. Now I knew why.

Every turn of the street and every tree seemed far more terrifying at night than it did in the day. I heard the rustling of leaves and began to walk faster after Steve. I stayed behind him about half a block to make sure he didn't see me and make me go back home and give Darren the ticket. Steve could be really cool, but I didn't know how loyal to Darren he really was. I felt the cold night's breeze brush my still damp hair and shivers ran up my spine. My fingers gripped tightly at the straps of my red backpack and I tried to convince myself to be brave. This was all going to be worth it… I knew it was. It had to be.

I followed Steve silently for another few blocks. He stopped at the gas station and grabbed some sweeties. My heart raced the entire time. I felt like a thief. Or some sort of assassin from those Ninja movies. I followed him down Main Street past all the businesses and parks. Finally, we came to a district that I wasn't familiar with. I followed him closer now as I had no idea where we were. We finally came upon this seemingly deserted building, and something in me knew that we were there.

Steve stood outside a few moments before walking in. I ran after him and hid behind the wall and watched him disappear into the darkness inside the theater. Mustering up every ounce of confidence in me, I pulled open the heavy front door and slowly slunk within. Few lights were lit within the lobby. The walls were destroyed and the floor had mouths opening wide to show shattered boards and the lower levels of the theater. I moved carefully, knowing one wrong step could send me plummeting into the darkness of the unknown far beneath the theater. I followed the flickering shadows of Steve's silhouette, walking in silence. I pulled my jacket tighter around me; it was colder inside this theater than it was outside! Suddenly, there came a voice deeper than I ever heard bellow out from the darkness.

"Can I help you?"

Steve twirled around and gawked at whoever spoke. I shifted myself and soon realized why Steve was so shocked. Towering over Steve was this giant man. His head seemed to reach the ceiling. I felt the urge to run then and there.

"…isn't it a little late for a young boy like yourself to be out and about?" he asked. His voice was so deep.

"I'm… I'm," Steve stammered, "I'm here to see the Cirque Du Freak."

"_Are_ you?" The giant nodded slowly. "Do you have a ticket?"

"Yes," Steve said, slowly. He reached into his pocket and fished out his ticket. He held it up and flashed the onyx paper to the giant man.

"Very good," the man muttered. Suddenly, he turned down the hallway and called out to me, "How about you, Annie? Do you have a ticket?"

My blood ran cold. I hid in silence for a minute before stepping out and beginning to walk down the hall. Steve's eyes widened in shock and when I pulled out my ticket, his lips twisted and he glared at me. "You _stole_ Darren's ticket, didn't you?"

I didn't answer Steve, but instead, showed the giant man my ticket. "Here it is," I squeaked. That was when I realized it. _He knew my name!_ I pulled my ticket back in fear and stepped away, cowering beside Steve.

The giant smiled, flashing a set of black teeth—some missing—and a tongue that was a dirty shade of yellow. "My name is Mr. Tall," he said, "I own the Cirque Du Freak."

"How did you know her name?" Steve asked bravely.

Mr. Tall bent down and became eye level with Steve. "I know lots of things," he said. "I know your names. I know where you live. I know you don't like your mommy and daddy." His black eyes shifted my way and he moved towards me. If I wasn't so petrified, I would have run, screaming in terror. "I know you didn't tell your parents you were coming here. I know how you got that ticket as well, Annie Shan."

"How?" I whispered through chattering teeth.

"We must hurry," Mr. Tall began to walk. "The show is about to start. Everyone else is present and seated. You are late, children. You're lucky we didn't start without you."

Mr. Tall was only a few steps in front of us when he turned down the corridor. As we rounded the hall after him, he now sat at a large black table. He wore a large red hat now, and gloves, too. "Tickets, please." He said.

We handed him out tickets and he raised them and put them in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed the pieces! I gagged a bit at the imagery I got from him eating all the tickets of people who ever came to the circus. "Very well," Mr. Tall said, "You may go in. Normally, we do not allow children, but I can see you are both very courageous young people. This time, we will make an exception."

Ahead of us, were two curtains drawn back. Inside, I heard the chatter of an anxious audience in the darkness before me. I took Steve's hand and looked up at him. "I'm sorry I took the ticket—I know you really wanted Darren here. I just… really wanted to come, too."

Steve gave me a glare, but after a moment, he nodded and said, "It's alright. But you better make this up to Darren."

"I will," I nodded frantically.

"Good," Steve looked forward. "We better get in there." He stepped forward and while tightly gripping my hand, he led me into the darkness of the amphitheater. However, something in me told me he was leading me right into the belly of the beast. And I knew from here, there was no turning back.

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_**R&R! Thanks and have a wonderful weekend. =D**_


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